On International Women's Day, CSEM pays tribute to all women, especially those who overcome various barriers in the face of the challenges of the migration decision.
By Carmem Lussi - Scalabrinian Center for Migration Studies
Sometimes it's the older sister who leaves, because she has to take responsibility for the family...
Sometimes it's the younger sister who goes, because she has to provide for herself...
But there are many times when it's the mother who leaves, despite the pain of a motherhood that doesn't allow anyone to be left behind...
But then there's the single woman, hoping that her fate won't be one of misfortune forever...
And then there's the wife and the partner and the friend. They need to survive and the only strategy they can find is to escape, whatever the cost, it will be less than staying...
When he's gone, or was never really there, with support or with the illusion of support, sometimes you just have to go!
WHEN SHE LEAVES, how many hurdles to overcome...
...in her family of origin, ouch! You can only go if it's to help others, it's not legitimate to leave thinking about yourself. You were brought up to take care of others.
...in the original context, ouch! Why do you want to be different and take an attitude of resistance to the evils we all endure? To leave is to die? Perhaps. But it is first and foremost an act of existence. If she leaves, she has a reason, even if she doesn't know how much it will cost!
...when it comes to finding the resources to leave, ouch! The debt, you don't know, could cost you your freedom and your family's peace for years to come!
...at the dry border, where you have to face the monsters you had no way of knowing about before you left, you discover that the exit door has the mark of the female genital organ, without letting it pass through, you won't get through. Now you know a little more about the price you have to pay to migrate, but the bill is still not complete.
...at the other border, the representative of the law, usually a man, offers services that are paid for with abused sex or by blackmailing loved ones or by stealing what little is left to reach the destination.
...and when a pregnancy caused by abuse and violence that has been poorly endured is announced, it doesn't matter if the husband who was waiting for you at your destination didn't have the money or the contacts to fly you there without risk, he won't understand. And motherhood becomes a condemnation instead of a blessing.
...and when she arrives in the country, the struggle doesn't end, it just changes. If she's black, she's a whore or a prostitute. And if you're white, you're stupid. And if you don't have a stigmatized color, you have an accent, you have clothes that make you different, you have ways of being that you don't know and a lot of loneliness that you can't count.
WHEN SHE LEAVES, she is resistant and daring.
When she's the one who emigrates, it tastes like victory, because it takes courage and a lot of inner strength to be able to implement a project like this.
When she goes, she takes with her pieces of her family that are stuck to her physical or emotional body, and she doesn't know how to get rid of them.
When she is the one at the head of the migration project, the whole family has to deal with returns, which weigh more than a pregnancy, much more, because there are so many dependents at the same time.
When she goes afterwards, she has to be a dependent forever, to thank those who favored her arrival for their service, but without the rights won by those who emigrated to develop their own project.
When she goes with children, she has no right to be an adult and a citizen, it's her duty to be a mother full time... her sons and daughters are not part of the society she's arrived in.
When she leaves... and her special brother or sick mother are left behind... what right should she want to live for herself? She was allowed to emigrate, she has an obligation to provide for her family's needs!
WHEN SHE'S THE ONE WHO LEAVES...
She emigrates, seeks refuge, immigrates, dares to take steps... resistance takes shape, boldness is dressed in joy, inner strength is shown in the bodies of women and girls who are discreet and focused on their goals, and creativity surges in minds and hearts thirsting for the future.
When she is the one who migrates, the world is transformed, because the agency of a woman who has the capacity to become a migrant is a time bomb: before or after she revolutionizes her life and the lives of those who have the humility and wisdom to be part of her life.
Brasilia, March 8, 2018.
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